COOPERMAN

I Will Go To Bat For California

Remember? I’m running for US Senate. Did you know there’s a US Senate softball league? There is. I called Sen. Feinstein’s office yesterday and her receptionist, Laura, told me that Sen. Feinstein does not play for her own team nor, would you believe, does she even show up for games. I guess that should not be too much of a surprise because Sen. Feinstein does not go to bat for California either.

Sen. Feinstein is not fit.

Fact: I am a team player and I have proven success in the US Senate softball league. The one season I played, I showed up for every game and that was not easy with the crappy car I drove back then. Despite some shaky fielding, I batted over .500. About half those hits were doubles. I have been there, I drove the ball, and I did not funnel large amounts of cash from the government into my own pockets.

Another Fact: According to The Washington Times, “On the day the new Congress convened this year, Sen. Dianne Feinstein introduced legislation to route $25 billion in taxpayer money to a government agency that had just awarded her husband’s real estate firm a lucrative contract to sell foreclosed properties at compensation rates higher than the industry norms.”

I do not have an investment banker spouse. If elected, I will route taxpayer money to whomever can do the job as efficiently and honestly as possible. That is the way I was raised to play the game. As a Senator, Feinstein has had 20 years to figure out her swing but, when it comes to serving the State of California, she just keeps striking out. Isn’t it time to waive this player from the team?

This message was paid for by nobody.
© Cooperman For US Senate 2012

Sun Storm, Fun Storm

As you may or may not know, the sun shot out some sun stuff during a big sun storm the other day. As you may or may not know, I dropped out of my one Astronomy class like super fast so I can’t explain the details nor do I care to understand them. I just like to look at the space things, especially the Northern Lights (ie sky magic). This week’s sun stuff makes more better the Northern Lights. Liberal Arts education FTW!

Yesterday, I searched for the clip with the best video/least annoying audio ratio and here’s what I found. Sun stuff in the night skies above Geiranger, Norway. Okay, the funny name (sound it out) probably clinched it.

Aurora - Geiranger, Norway 24.Jan 2012 from Stian Rekdal on Vimeo.

If you read this far, here’s a bonus picture of the Northern Lights, last night, above a Swedish shack. See how that’s different from the usual dark sky with a few white dots? Fluorescent green swirls.

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UPDATE: Bad news/Good news. Bad news: They took down the Geiranger video. Good news: I found video of the Swedish shack and here it is.

Lights Over Lapland Photo Expedition video of CME impact on 1-24-2012 from Lights Over Lapland on Vimeo.

Where Dianne And I Stand On SOPA

Remember? I’m running for US Senate. I have to bore you for a moment with election jazz. It’s important. Why? Because I need to explain that my turkey-faced opponent, Dianne Feinstein, is old, in the way, and definitely on the wrong side of a very important bill.

You cannot look up SOPA on Wikipedia right now because Wikipedia shut down for the day to protest SOPA so I will explain the gist of it. The Stop Online Piracy Act (or SOPA) is currently before the US House Of Representatives. If enacted, this bill will allow copyright holders to take down any website they want. All they have to do is claim copyright infringement. No proof necessary. No court approval. Just bang, bang you’re dead, no more website. If there was no infringement, later, after the damage, they get to say, “Oops, I mistaked.” and life goes on without penalty. Sure, I know what you’re thinking and, as much as I would love to play that prank over and over and over, I would never willingly grant the power to someone else.

(That prank: Hello? Internet? I think the Twitter stole one of my Hurricane Irene Fashion Tips- BAM! No more Twitter.)

                                                            
                                                              SOPA = Bullshit

I address SOPA today because there is a similar bill, called The Protect IP Act (or PIPA) currently before the Senate. Sen. Feinstein supports PIPA despite the overwhelming opposition from her constituents. Why? According to the Huffington Post, she plays the “Oh, they sorted it all out” card. According to her constituent response letters she claims, “The bill does not violate First Amendment rights to free speech”. False and false.

I am against SOPA, I am against PIPA, and unlike Sen. Feinstein, I am against taking money to say otherwise.

                                        
                               “GIMME MORE MORE MONIEZ NOW NOW NOW”

It is time for California to elect someone who loves California to represent our state in the US Senate, someone who votes in support of California’s best interests, someone who refuses to be bought. That would be me. This November, vote Cooperman for US Senate. It’ll be fun!

(Hello? Internet? I think diannefeinstein2012.com stole one of my old Gadhafi Photoshop threats- BAM!)

This message was paid for by nobody.
© Cooperman For US Senate 2012

Google Safaris

I’m looking into health insurance options and I decided to borrow a strategy I see in all the applications. Now, I can screw you over just like the pros and none of you can ever sue me, ever. Binding Arbitration Clause! I can do whatever I want whenever I want and this serves as my public notice. It’s all legit now, you poor bastards.

Dispute Resolution

All claims and disputes arising under or relating to Brian Cooperman are to be settled by binding arbitration in the state of California or another location mutually agreeable to the parties. The arbitration shall be conducted on a confidential basis pursuant to the Commercial Arbitration Rules of the American Arbitration Association. Any decision or award as a result of any such arbitration proceeding shall be in writing and shall provide an explanation for all conclusions of law and fact and shall include the assessment of costs, expenses, and reasonable attorneys’ fees. Any such arbitration shall be conducted by an experienced arbitrator and shall include a written record of the arbitration hearing. Brian Cooperman reserves the right to object to any individual who shall be employed by or affiliated with a competing organization or entity. An award of arbitration may be confirmed in a court of competent jurisdiction.

My Arbitration Panel:

Shipwreck Film Fans

From the NY Times Costa Concordia story:

“Anxious survivors, many comparing the experience to the movie “Titanic,” recounted a chaotic and terrifying scene in which some crawled through hallways to escape down perilous ladders to lifeboats, while others leapt overboard into the wintry Tyrrhenian Sea.”

I think I would probably compare the experience to Titanic (the ship) before Titanic (the movie). But I wasn’t there.

Mascots

Today, I learned that there is an arena football team in Omaha called the Omaha Beef. Here is their mascot, Sir Loin. If Sir Loin’s name doesn’t suggest his upcoming demise strongly enough, the sponsor’s wall ad does.

Ultimate Nintendo Tribute: Abobo’s Big Adventure

Abobo’s coming. This Wednesday, ABOBO! And it’s free.

If you love old school Nintendo, do yourself a favor and free up some time on Wednesday to check out Abobo’s Big Adventure. This is where I will steal words from it’s creator, I-Mockery’s Roger Barr. Abobo’s Big Adventure is “the *ultimate* tribute to the Nintendo Entertainment System. This is the game that any kid who grew up on the NES always dreamed of playing and it goes beyond anything the system ever could’ve been capable of.”

ABOBO’S BIG ADVENTURE TRAILER (by Brad Webb)
http://abobosbigadventure.com/about.php

Roger and his team started this project of love back in 2002. All those years, all that love, did I mention that it’s free? Abobo is absolutely free to play. Free Abobo Love this Wednesday, in all of it’s 8-bit gloriousness.

Seriously, you’ll like it. You’re welcome for the tip. Now tell your friends.

USA #1

As if we needed further proof, here is American Tim Howard showing the world. Even as a goalkeeper, he still scores on the foreigners… in their own sport.

Birds

LOS ANGELES, Jan. 4, 2012 — According to the National Audubon Society, the largest bird, at about 230 lbs, is Struthio camelus, the ostrich, but ostriches can’t fly. 

Ostrich

The National Zoo claims our largest bird capable of flight is the Kori Bustard. Kori Bustards weigh in at about 30 lbs but/so they prefer to roam the grounds of eastern Africa or southern Africa. Also, that seems way too small.

Kori Bustard (in “flight”)

Therefore, even though The Proceedings Of The National Academy Of Sciences Of The United States Of America (PNAS for short) claims it has been extinct for 6 million years, we must consider the Argentavis. 12 feet long, 23 foot wingspan, 160 lbs? It all fits. I am quite certain that it was an adult Argentavis who shat on my car two or three times this morning.

Argentavis (massive)

If you’re into birds, maybe this is big news. For me, I need to go wash my car for real now. You’re welcome for forgetting to take pictures of the crime scene.

UPDATE:
I washed my car. Whew.

Fire Cupping

I’ve had this done on my arm twice in the past week. I’m not sure how I feel about it.

This Is A Parade

Forgive me. I know I’m late on this. I don’t watch North Korean state funerals. Anyhow, I just saw Kim Jong-il’s kickass 1976 Lincoln and wow, pretty cool. I must buy a Me-Portrait converted Lincoln Town Car limo. Triple kickass!

Enough with Protester, Time Magazine and I just named the Adagio Variable-Temperature Electric Kettle as my PURCHASE OF THE YEAR. It’s been fantastic. See that dial? Variable temperatures!

All These People Support Kid Rape?